THE VILLAGE GARDENER
I went to tochi’s house to see her.i went in and greeted her father.her mother wasn’t around.he welcome me with an open arm.he even called me his in-law.na green light be that.
ME.papa good day.
PAPA TOCHI.good day my son.welecomu.(welcome).
ME.thank you papa.
P.TOCHI.what of your grand mother.hope she is fine.
ME.yes.she is fine thank you.
P.TOCHI.my daughter told me.that you are her boyfriend.i hope you won’t use and dump her o.she is the only daughter i have.
ME.aaah.no papa.i love tochi very much.i have no bad intention over her.infact very soon.i want to marry her.
P.TOCHI.you want to marry her?.
P.TOCHI.okay.no problem.you know.tochi is a good girl.she will make a very good wife for you.and you.you are strong and hard working boy.am very sure that you can take good care of her.abi.
ME.very well sir.yes papa.i will take good care of her.all i need is your support.
P.TOCHI.you already have my support my son.when you are ready.you can come with your people and marry her.my in-law.(smiled).
ME.thank you papa.what of her.i mean tochi?.
P.TOCHI.she is in her room.
ME.ok papa.let me go and see her.(i left papa tochi.to go meet my tobaby.i went inside her room and i saw her.laying down. She greeted me immediately she saw me.we went to the ukwuu mango together.to spend some quality time as lovers.(are you jeaulous?.lols.).
AT THE UKWUU MANGO.
ME.tobaby m.my tom tom milky milky.the sugar in my tea.my quadratic equation.the onion in my stew.the egusi in my soup.(she was busy blushing).how are you na?.
TOCHI.am fime(fine).this names wey you dey call me.dey do me some how for body o.(she said smiling).
ME.*laughs*how im dey do you.
TOCHI.the names they sweet me.(she said shyly).
ME.don’t worry.if we get married.i will be calling you the names.you hear.
TOCHI.okay.i don hear.
ME.so if we get married now. What name will you be calling me?.
TOCHI.i will be calring you tobechukwu na.
ME.aaah.noo.you will be calling me romantic names na.
TOCHI.haa.which one be lomantic again.(romantic).
ME.romantic means sweet.
TOCHI.sweet.the one wey them they sell for shope.wey we dey leak.
ME.noo.not that one.
TOCHI.so you want me to be calring(calling) you sweet names.
ME.yes na. tobechukwu is not romantic.
TOCHI.okay.i will be calring you.erm erm.tobem or nkem.
ME.i like nkem.
TOCHI.ok i will be calring(callin)you nkem.
ME.okay.erm erm.tobaby m.i want to tell you something.
ME.i want us to do jigida.(s#x)
TOCHI.you have come again.what is jigida?.
ME.okay.i want to i want to.erm.will you give me?.
TOCHI.tell na.i fit give you.
ME.i want us to have erm s#x.
TOCHI.we never marry na.if we marry.we will be doing it every day.so wait.
ME.(chai!bad market).tochi please na.i want to do it now.shebi na me go marry you.lets start now.
TOCHI.if we get marry.i will give you.what of if i get belle?.
ME.if you get belle.na me go still marry you.or if you no want.i go go buy condome for one of the shopes now.
TOCHI.what is condome again.
ME.don’t worry.i will tell you.if we use condome do the thing.you no go get belle.
TOCHI.eehe.are you sure?.
ME.yes na.am sure.
TOCHI.okay. Lets go to your house and do the thing.but your thing dey very long o.
ME.(this girl self).it’s not too long like that.beside it won’t hurt you.
TOCHI.okay lets go.(chai!i don hammer today).
I and tochi left to my house.holding hands together.love is sweet o.on our way.we saw a car that drove and stopped near us.i became suprise.who must be this that is driving this fine car.i was still in my though.when a young lady came down from the car.lo and behold.it was ISABELLA.i looked at her shining skin.and said to myself.money is good o. She came closer to us and greeted us.
TOCHI.wetin she talk (she asked me).
ME.she said.how are we doing.
TOCHI.ooh.oyibo.we are fime o.(fine).
ME.(see how this girl dey disgrace me in front of isabella.mumu.).hi isabella.
ISABELLA.you even know my name.
ME.yes.i came to your house early hours of today.i am the one that will clear the grases on your compound.you even gave i and my friend wine.
ISABELLA.oh oh oh.i remember.so you are the one.
ME.yes.am the one.
ISABELLA.okay.i want to get to the market and buy some stuffs.but i don’t know the road that lead to the market.please dear can you show me the road.or better.we can go to the market together.i will drope you home.if am through with what i wanna buy.please.
ME.(chai!she even called me dear.my own done better.of course why won’t i follow her.who no like better thing.atleast i go enter that her fine car.but what of tochi?i don’t want to miss this opportunity to jigida her.what i have been praying for all this while.and now that God have finally answer my prayer.isabella carry her own wahala come.mitchew.devil is a liar.
ME.okay.no problem.lets go. I told tochi to wait for me at home.if i come back we will continue were we stop.she agreed and started goin home.i and isabella zoomed off to the market.