I used to sign up to dating sites because I was shy to ask out strangers.
At least those whom I liked much.
Nowadays I have enough confidence to ask out anyone.
This is how I met a big love of my life.
I met another big love on a dating site.
Everyone else whose personality fitted mine I also met online.
The difference between online dating and “real-life dating” isn’t about the quality but the risks. Let me explain what I mean by using a personal example.
When I see a beautiful woman on the street, I usually think: “Look, there is Einstein.”
This is not a joke.
My ideal is the beautiful and smart woman. I know they exist, but they aren’t as many as many times I imagined seeing one. As I am optimistic, every time I see a beautiful woman I want to believe that she is smart too. And I do believe it. In case we date I feel astonished by her beauty. I even feel proud for sitting there with her. I realize only one or one and a half hour later: "Oh my God, what are we talking about?" Then it crosses my mind how much time, effort and money I put again into someone I have nothing to do with.
As I told you, there was only one exception whom I deeply loved.
Meeting first on dating site works the opposite way. You quickly learn how much you like their personalities. It never happened to me that I had an online conversation with someone and they were much less interesting for me in real.
However, it happened that we liked each other less than we expected. Visually. (You can improve your chances to avoid this by having and asking for more photos.)
That’s why I told you that the difference isn’t the quality but the risks. With real-life dating, you risk being disappointed in the personality. Starting it on a dating site, you risk being disappointed in the looks.
(When I say risk I mean people you aren’t looking for at the end. When you like both the looks and the personality you have got the jackpot.)
For me, look and intellect matter the same amount. Online dating is already more efficient at 50-50% importance ratio of these two. You can tell not later but after the first or the second letter whether you like to talk to each other or not. You can quickly decide whether it is worth or not to put more effort into the conversation.
Filling out your profile helps a lot.
In the next newsletter, I’m going to tell you how to write a profile that helps you to find the person for whom you are looking.